letsgoooooo

Gold Lion, take our hands out of control

It's an exciting time in our lives. One that I didn't anticipate in the chaos of our 20s. One that I opened up to in my early 30s. One that I'm fully ready for now.

For me, the idea of having a kid changed when I found myself. To feel as though I have stability and a true sense of direction for what I want my life to look like within work and outside of work.

It also changed when I started seeing the many examples of parents and styles across our vast sea of friends. Seeing a pathway for being a dad through the experience of certain people who I look up to and respect.

People say "you're never ready" but I believe those people started too early.

We've been patient. We are ready. And I am excited.

We will raise our child with good values, fun, and love. The roots we've established and the stability we value are going to be the foundation for a new addition.

I look forward to seeing the world through a new lens.
I look forward to the endless series of firsts.
I look forward to the challenges and the learning from those challenges.
I look forward to the entire process.

We've said "maybe start in 6 months" but in the back of my head, I continue to think "why not now?".

Let's start now. And embark on this next chapter together.

No pressure or planning. We will trust that the universe wants this for us, and trust that when it happens, it's the right time. And we'll be ready.
I'm going to be an awesome dad. And you're going to be an awesome mom.

I can't wait to start this adventure with you.

I love you.

Justin

1/13/25 (this is the year)

The first two hours of an acid trip. Uncomfort, excitement, nervous, and ungrounded. And then it all comes together. Not in a singular moment, but there’s always a moment when you take that big breath.

“We’re riding the wave now”.

2024 was a year of transition. This is part of living. Things change, people evolve, life mutates into something new. Sometimes with intention, sometimes without intention.

The biggest influence was the desire to have a child. It shifted the dynamics of how I lived my life. Quitting marijuana had a profound impact in my day to day. There was a subtle desire to tune down the “always on the move” pace that has been a constant in my adult life to date. A desire to drink less, prioritize health, and index for a good nights sleep. To work out more and be in great shape. All of these things crescendo in a short period of time. A desire for a different pace, a different environment around me, a different life. With intention, and also without intention.

There’s a sense of happiness in the transition. I want to be healthier. It feels good to be physically fit. I like not being stoned all day every day. There’s a sense of grounding in the desire to not always be looking for “what’s next”. A quiet Friday night or weekend at home may be the most cherished unlock of 2024.

And there’s also a sense of stress. A critical lens to how things are developing. A sense of guilt when I revert back to my old ways. The tradeoff of the bottle of wine that pleases me in the moment, and the choppy sleep that it creates. The critical attitude around that as I indulge. Unsettled. Hesitation in the transition, deeply felt, but hard to really understand or articulate.

I hope and trust that this transition is a process. Not a binary light switch. An evolution that takes months, potentially years, to fully bake. A process of feeling at peace with this new life that I feel uncomfortable in today.

Applying patience to the process. Hoping that there’s an unlock in maturity that will manifest itself in ways that I look back on with happiness and clarity.

Hope, trust, and patience being the macro themes that I cling onto as I wait for everything to fully process.

I need a good acid trip to really soak this all in. To really root into the subconscious and pull all of these complex emotions out. To find clarity in the comfort of the unknown. To find the wave, and ride it into the next chapter.